Friday, April 8, 2011

Conflicted…about conflict.

So I made a very conscious effort this week to see how conflict is allowed, promoted or suppressed in our lives. I jotted down a few thoughts for you to ponder:

·         My week started with a message Sunday morning regarding “spurring one another on.” Talk about in my face. Hello conflict, how are you? The simple act of spurring brings up thoughts related to action, pain, direction, movement, speed, change, etc. Enough said…I got it. 

·         On Monday I spent several hours with a great mentor of mine. In a discussion focused on relationships, we spent time going through discomfort in order to grow. The chat progressed on to include a deep dive in speaking the truth. My friend challenged me to observe times of pain (in relationships) and ask myself whether I was speaking the truth. He gave some good words: “Live with honesty and truth in every moment.” This is hard to do – why should it be is the real question. Do we just give up as a society instead of allowing or even promoting discomfort?

·         Just yesterday I witnessed a really cool breakdown in a leadership staff meeting. I watched two very talented leaders challenge each other publicly…but stopped the discussion prior to speaking the truth. Why? Because it got sticky. We just don’t spend enough time practicing how to be truthful or honest in a respectful manner. Emotions take over and the discussion becomes personal. In this scenario, the meeting temperature dramatically changed and neither left satisfied or “closed.”

As the week comes to an end I am conflicted not only about conflict, but how we as a society have a fantastic opportunity to change our environment. In the last example, I followed up personally with both leaders to ask why they “stopped” the discussion. Guess what, both were frustrated and tired of the battle. Maybe one of the keys to conflict is prepping ourselves to handle it better (words to use, tone, body language), but also having the energy to conflict properly. 

I hope you all can find the energy, words and conviction to engage in healthy conflict. Please do so in order to spur one another along – and in a truthful, heartfelt manner. 

Good luck!
Regards, Scott

Scott Garchar
Division Service Manager
FedEx Custom Critical

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